janna . 44 years old / denver . colorado
the roller coaster that is my emotional state around this project took an aggressive downward dip today. a young woman carrying a pomeranian dog in her arms said she was busy. an older woman with far too much rouge told me that she wasn't up for it today. another young woman was on her way to meet her friends. a business man with a great sense of style touched me on the arm to tell me he wasn't going to be today's stranger. an older woman standing in the shade, smoking a cigarette and reading a book, told me that her daughter does something very similar and she felt bad to tell me no because it breaks her heart when people refuse to participate in her daughter's project, but she did anyway. and then another woman was on company time, so she passed.
it is on days like today that i understand why more people aren't doing things like this. it is difficult. and very frustrating. why are people in such a hurry? who cares about company time? seriously. what company would reprimand you for being a few minutes late if involvement in this project was your excuse? people are rushing around constantly. but to what? why? i notice the way other people look at me when they see that i just asked somebody for something, but clearly didn't get what i was looking for. sometimes i catch people with a disgusted look or a fearful look. like i am going to also inconvenience them by intruding on their personal space with some asinine question. maybe i just asked for the time...
i spotted janna walking down the street in the sunshine. she was sharply dressed and had a commanding presence as the bright afternoon sun was ricocheting off her white clothing. the "company time" woman had just walked away from me and i had chosen to change my course, but then chose my original course again to intercept janna. i told her what i was up to and she told me she was in a hurry. i asked her how much of a hurry she was in and she said she was pretty much in a hurry. i was content to let her go because the 7th rejection hardly feels like anything after the first 6, but she asked me how long it would take. i told her it would take about 5 minutes and she was ok with that. so... we started.
i asked her named. and her age. then i pull out a model release full of a bunch of legal jargon. i have to ask for contact information and date of birth and a signature. as the questions kept coming, janna became visibly uncomfortable. she needed some reassurance that i wasn't some kind of serial killer or stalker or creepy in any other way. what do i say? "no, i am not creepy. this is humanitarian. i don't like the rushing. i am a social being and this is my exaggerated attempt at proving it." i say all that, but what does it mean when i am presumed to be a weirdo?
i took several photos of janna and i could see her discomfort as i stared into her eyes through my lens. when we finished, she walked away to wait for the crosswalk light to summons her to the other side and i leaned against the railing outside of the hotel we were standing in front of to take some notes. a guy in a high-end bmw pulled up to the light and asked janna if he could have her photo, too. i looked at janna. she looked at me. and i could see the anxiety in her eyes. i walked over to her as she confessed her hope that i wasn't going to do anything weird with her information. i offered to walk with her down the street. i offered to show her my website on my phone. i pulled out my phone and all she could ask was, "what happened to that thing?" i confessed that it shattered by falling out of my pocket several months ago, but i am afraid that just convinced her that i was up to no good.
what kind of creep wears purple pants and boat shoes and striped winter hats and runs around the city with a camera and a broken iphone? based on the judgment, i am surprised the police have not taken me away. slipped me into a nice white jacket and locked me up in a place with a name like "sunshine acres" or pleasant meadows".
i was sincere with janna, but i don't think she bought it. she told me she is an operations manager for a small oil and gas company. i asked if it was this particular company (the only oil & gas company i know), but it wasn't. i told her i liked her name (her full name is a little bit different) and complimented her beauty and said i liked her boots. i said she had nice eyes. i suppose things like that only make my case worse, but they come out naturally and easily and without ulterior motives. i thanked janna for her time and said i appreciated her participation. she just looked at me and said, "we'll see how it works out."
the roller coaster that is my emotional state around this project took an aggressive downward dip today. a young woman carrying a pomeranian dog in her arms said she was busy. an older woman with far too much rouge told me that she wasn't up for it today. another young woman was on her way to meet her friends. a business man with a great sense of style touched me on the arm to tell me he wasn't going to be today's stranger. an older woman standing in the shade, smoking a cigarette and reading a book, told me that her daughter does something very similar and she felt bad to tell me no because it breaks her heart when people refuse to participate in her daughter's project, but she did anyway. and then another woman was on company time, so she passed.
it is on days like today that i understand why more people aren't doing things like this. it is difficult. and very frustrating. why are people in such a hurry? who cares about company time? seriously. what company would reprimand you for being a few minutes late if involvement in this project was your excuse? people are rushing around constantly. but to what? why? i notice the way other people look at me when they see that i just asked somebody for something, but clearly didn't get what i was looking for. sometimes i catch people with a disgusted look or a fearful look. like i am going to also inconvenience them by intruding on their personal space with some asinine question. maybe i just asked for the time...
i spotted janna walking down the street in the sunshine. she was sharply dressed and had a commanding presence as the bright afternoon sun was ricocheting off her white clothing. the "company time" woman had just walked away from me and i had chosen to change my course, but then chose my original course again to intercept janna. i told her what i was up to and she told me she was in a hurry. i asked her how much of a hurry she was in and she said she was pretty much in a hurry. i was content to let her go because the 7th rejection hardly feels like anything after the first 6, but she asked me how long it would take. i told her it would take about 5 minutes and she was ok with that. so... we started.
i asked her named. and her age. then i pull out a model release full of a bunch of legal jargon. i have to ask for contact information and date of birth and a signature. as the questions kept coming, janna became visibly uncomfortable. she needed some reassurance that i wasn't some kind of serial killer or stalker or creepy in any other way. what do i say? "no, i am not creepy. this is humanitarian. i don't like the rushing. i am a social being and this is my exaggerated attempt at proving it." i say all that, but what does it mean when i am presumed to be a weirdo?
i took several photos of janna and i could see her discomfort as i stared into her eyes through my lens. when we finished, she walked away to wait for the crosswalk light to summons her to the other side and i leaned against the railing outside of the hotel we were standing in front of to take some notes. a guy in a high-end bmw pulled up to the light and asked janna if he could have her photo, too. i looked at janna. she looked at me. and i could see the anxiety in her eyes. i walked over to her as she confessed her hope that i wasn't going to do anything weird with her information. i offered to walk with her down the street. i offered to show her my website on my phone. i pulled out my phone and all she could ask was, "what happened to that thing?" i confessed that it shattered by falling out of my pocket several months ago, but i am afraid that just convinced her that i was up to no good.
what kind of creep wears purple pants and boat shoes and striped winter hats and runs around the city with a camera and a broken iphone? based on the judgment, i am surprised the police have not taken me away. slipped me into a nice white jacket and locked me up in a place with a name like "sunshine acres" or pleasant meadows".
i was sincere with janna, but i don't think she bought it. she told me she is an operations manager for a small oil and gas company. i asked if it was this particular company (the only oil & gas company i know), but it wasn't. i told her i liked her name (her full name is a little bit different) and complimented her beauty and said i liked her boots. i said she had nice eyes. i suppose things like that only make my case worse, but they come out naturally and easily and without ulterior motives. i thanked janna for her time and said i appreciated her participation. she just looked at me and said, "we'll see how it works out."
1 comments:
"What kind of creep wears purple pants...and runs around the city with a camera...?"
An interesting person, that's what kind. We spoke the other day about your getting more recognition for the project as more people are exposed to it. When you become famous someday, what do you want to bet that some of the people who rejected you will remember the encounter and boast of their personal brush with greatness?
Never mind them. You are just separating grain from chaff, and you must not take it too personally. You have many people in your life (many of them former strangers) who appreciate what you are doing. No need to force special moments on folks who can't recognize them. All the best every day. lannie
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